Someone eagerly wishes to talk to me by telephone tonight.  Sadly, I do not know the identity of this person.  You see, I like to screen my phone calls.  That way I can avoid embarrassing conversations with my numerous creditors.  Also telemarketers and other people that I don't like or don't want to talk to.  This process of screening is made possible by an answering machine, or in my case, the WashU voice mail system (314/935-9200).  This system will answer my calls for me, and allow the people who are calling me to leave a message.  I can then review the messages and return the calls when I find it convenient.

The intelligent among you will have spotted the fundamental flaw in this system: if someone does not leave a message, I cannot review the messages and return the call.  Unfortunately, this is what happened tonight.  Someone (I assume it was only one person because I get very few phone calls) called approximately ten times in one half hour period, but never left a message.  Therefore, I cannot return this unknown person's call.

Let me close by urging everyone who uses the telephone, especially those telephone users who call me, to leave a message if your call goes unanswered.  Working together, we can eliminate this rash of calls without messages.

Comments: 0 Posted by david on 19 March 2001 at 9:58 PM

a violent potato chip, fighting until the end, recently stabbed me in the roof of my mouth.  it hurt very much, and I was struck with grief and anger.  I wanted to retaliate, to show that offensive potato chip that I would not abide, that I do not meet injury meekly, nemo me impune lacessit, and he would be made to pay.  but then I realized that I was the brutal one.  he watched as I ruthlessly devoured his companions, guiltily praying at each grab of my hand that I would claim some other chip.  and when his time came, he courageously and hopelessly fought, clinging desperately to his life until the end.

I feel like an ogre.

(if you ever wonder why Im so skinny..)

Comments: 0 Posted by michael on 18 March 2001 at 11:36 PM

Do you know what's worse than waiting for an hour in a doctor's waiting room?  Waiting for an hour in the exam room.  Everytime I go see my oral surgeon, they take me back to an exam room as soon as I get there, and then I wait for forty-five minutes to an hour before the doctor gets around to seeing me.  If they let me wait in the waiting room, I would at least have something to read.

Spring break is going pretty well for me, and I may post again, but the odds are against that, as posting these things via telnet is a less than ideal situation.  I'll resume posting this coming Sunday.

Comments: 0 Posted by david on 12 March 2001 at 3:39 PM

I saw a commercial today advertising a book entitled "how to pay your bills supernaturally."  I wish I had written down the telephone number.

okay, Im off for spring break now. Im sure you wont even miss me.

Comments: 0 Posted by michael on 8 March 2001 at 6:42 PM

In just a few short hours, my Spring Break (odd that it's called that, since it isn't spring) will begin.  I can't wait.  I really need a week away from classes, work, and michael (just kidding about that last one).  Anyway, I don't have any plans for spring break, and I'll probably just spend the week watching TV at home, but it will be very relaxing.  The only downside to my quickly approaching Spring Break?  I have a test to take before it starts.

Comments: 0 Posted by david on 8 March 2001 at 10:55 AM

michael says that he feels very "disconnected from our audience because they never email us."  In order to remedy this situation, I am announcing the first of what will be a weekly series of contests here on negative273.com.  The winner will receive an arbitrarily selected prize of nominal value.  The rules for this weeks contest are simple.  Email us. Your email can be about any topic you choose.  The first person who emails us will receive a prize.  Other may receive prizes if we deem their entries to be very cool.  Send your entries to zero@negative273.com by Tuesday, 13 March 2001.  Winners will be notified shortly after the contest ends.  If you have any questions, please email us.

Comments: 0 Posted by david on 6 March 2001 at 11:55 PM

Happy Birthday, Dad!  55!  Wow.

Today is also an anniversary of a different kind of event.  On this day in 1982 John Belushi was found dead in his rented Hollywood bungalow, apparently of a drug overdose.  Take a few hours off today and watch "Animal House," it's a classic.

I've been working on a new project recently, but I'm not really sure if it's suitable for public consumption.  I think it's very, very funny, which should (in my opinion, anyway) be a mitigating factor if it hurts some feelings, right?  I'll think on this and post a link if I decide it's appropriate.

Comments: 0 Posted by david on 5 March 2001 at 11:31 PM

I visited my orthodontist today.  It was not a fun trip.  I knew things would be bad as soon as he asked the assistant to "steel-tie" my bicuspids.  She has steel-tied my teeth in the past and it almost always ends in disaster.  [Steel-tying involves wrapping a thin steel thread around one of the appliances on my tooth, and twirling it around with a special device to make sure it is very tight.  Disaster with steel ties involves getting part way through the twirling phase, and then having the steel thread slip out of the twirling device, which requires that the steel tie be cut off, and the procedure repeated.]  Today the nice assistant girl managed to mess up the steel tying twice.  I was not happy.

Then came my attempts to find out from the orthodontist when he foresaw removing my braces.  I was curious because in mid-December he told me I only had 90 days left, and we're rapidly approaching that time.  The best response I could get out of him was that "we're in the home stretch."  I would feel a lot better about this if he hadn't been saying that since August.

All things considered, this is not how I like to spend my Fridays.  (Did I mention that I now wear four rubber bands at all times, a 100% increase over when I was last in to see the orthodontist?)  Not a good visit at all.

Comments: 0 Posted by david on 2 March 2001 at 11:31 AM

so lets see. there were a few things Ive been meaning to post about. okay, yeah, the first one is my new webcam.  if you hadnt already noticed the addition, negative273 now has two webcams.  now you can look in on me or dave any time you want to.  the site just keeps getting better and better.  it surprises me how much content we are coming up with.  that brings me to my other point, actually.  we finished YotM #2, and youre free to have a look here.  tell us what you think.  really.  dave and I are both pretty insecure and need constant positive feedback.  it would mean a lot to us.  especially dave.  (I hear him crying sometimes at night.  the walls here are pretty thin.)

in other news, Im hungry and desire lunch, but it is cold and windy and there is rain and sleet.  would anyone like to bring me a sandwich?

Comments: 0 Posted by michael on 27 February 2001 at 11:39 AM

Do you like things that are funny, or at least mildly humorous?  If you don't, please stop reading this post now.  I guess you want some kind of reward for continuing to read?  Okay, okay, I've found a very funny site on the Internet (no, it's not our new-and-improved -- by at least a factor of 2 -- webcam) which I thought you might like.  It's called The Modern Humorist.  Go there.  Laugh.  Be merry.

That's all.  You can stop reading this post right about . . . now.

What, you're still reading?  But I told you to stop.  No, I don't really have anything else to share with you, but if I think of something, you'll be the first one I tell, okay?  Good.

Goodnight.

Comments: 0 Posted by david on 26 February 2001 at 2:21 AM

The state of Pennsylvania has begun putting their web address on their license plates.  This begs the question: What useful information is on state websites, and who ever visits them?  If you have visited your state's web site and have found useful information there, please enlighten me.

Comments: 0 Posted by david on 24 February 2001 at 5:14 PM

nickd.org, one of the websites that I frequently visit, has decided that he no longer wants visitors to his sites that do not use "standards compliant" browsers.  The list of "standards compliant" browsers does not include my browser of choice Netscape 4.75.  I use Netscape 4.x on both Windows and Solaris, and I am very happy with it.  Now, some loser kid has decided that his website is too fucking cool to be viewed in Netscape.  Am I the only one who remembers the days when content was more important than presentation?  The days when people searched the web for useful information, and not for fancy fading links or elaborately laid out pages?

All of this is, of course, the fault of the Web Standards Project, an organization whose "mission is to stop the fragmentation of the web, by persuading browser makers that standards are in everyone's best interest. Together we can make the web accessible to everyone."  Everyone who uses the browsers that they recommend, that is.  In fact, I couldn't even visit the Web Standard Project's (their abbreviation is WaSP, which I thought had other connotations) home page without loading IE 5.5.  Netscape gets redirected to a crappy update or die page.  Is this the way to make the web more accessible to everyone, by refusing content to those who haven't updated their browsers recently?  I mean, their list of recommended browsers isn't really outstanding.  They list two free browsers that run on the Windows™ OS: IE 5.5 and Netscape 6.  While IE 5.5 may be "standards compliant," I don't particularly like the way it renders pages or huge percentage of my hard drive its installation requires (Not to mention the fact that I try to use MS competitors whenever possible).  And Netscape 6 is just about as crappy a browser as I have ever used.  It takes the better part of a day to load, and its interface is crap.