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Hello -273 readers. I know it's been awhile since my last guest post, but I hope you didn't miss me too much. School starts in just 5 short days, and since many of you attend Washington University in St. Louis along with me I just thought I'd give you an update on the state of our fine campus after all the construction that has taken place this summer.

Dorms on the South 40

If you're fortunate enough to live in Lee or Ruby, you will be the lucky resident of a dorm that has clean rocks on the roof. One bright sunny day a few weeks ago, a truck with a large device on the back that looked like a funnel with a long hose stuck to it drove up Shepley Drive to change our lives. That's right, after using the funnel hose to (loudly) remove the rocks from the respective roofs of these buildings at 8:00 in the morning, new and better rocks were imported and stationed high atop the dorms. While the rest of us won't be able to fall asleep at night worrying about the many dangers of having old rocks over our heads, the denizens of Lee and Ruby can sleep soundly. And knowing WashU their rent will increase by 50%.

Olin Library

Not to be confused with the Olin School of Business with its futuristic classrooms that need no improvements (except maybe in the caliber of student that sits in said classrooms), the Olin Library was and continues to be the busiest construction site on campus. The first order of business was for elite civil engineering crews to close down the basement and proceed to set fire to it. Ha ha, I am kidding of course, the fire was purely unintentional and required a complete evacuation and the presence of 2 fire trucks and 2 emergency medical vehicles. With this debacle out of the way, the crack team of construction workers took on the task of removing the outside stairways with some sort of drilling tool that can only be described as the loudest thing I have ever heard in my life. Then, as if this weren't enough, they dug holes. Many holes. Random holes. Some of the holes were covered with cheap sod, since students (and their rich parents) moved in this weekend. Others still remain uncovered and unprotected, to be discovered by drunken students in their nightly stumbles. Why the school didn't think of this years ago as a way to trap drunks is a mystery to me.

Cupples Stairwell

Everyone in the Engineering School knows about it. It has become a regular fixture of our campus. Is it gone for good? Of course I am talking about the dent at the base of the stairwell in Cupples Hall where the tile is cracked and indented and it feels like you're going to step through the floor. All of the tiling was relaid this summer so the burning question on everyone's mind is of course whether this e-school landmark is gone. The answer of course is no, for while the construction crew replaced the cracked tiling, they did not remedy the root of the problem. Beneath the tiling, the wood floor is warped and indented. All they did was lay tile over the same problem, so in another few weeks after heavy traffic of Engineers carrying their laptops back from ee280, the ditch will reappear. Another great misappropriation of our tuition funds.

Hilltop Bakery

At the end of last semester we were treated to a new eating option on campus. Krispy Kreme donut cases were added to Bear's Den and the Bakery in an effort to provide us with enough sugar to bounce off the walls, thereby allowing students to easily stay up all night studying without having to resort to NoDoz or Red Bull. Apparently these efforts were unsuccessful, as the bakery has been closed all week for remodeling. The sign on the door says that they are putting in a whole Krispy Kreme counter, and that it will be reopening on Friday the 17th. I'm sure at this point you already see the obvious problem. Friday has come and gone, and the bakery is still closed. This sign has been replaced with a new sign, "Closed until further notice", and the floor is littered with brick dust and metal rods. Apparently the school used its infinite wisdom to come to the conclusion that the best time to completely remodel an eatery is when the campus is about to be swarmed with thousands of people rather than during the summer when it is emptier than a ghost town. Using the standard WashU metric for delays (Taco Bell was supposed to open in October, actual date January. Ursa's was supposed to open sophomore year, actual date junior year), I have come up with the following date for the Bakery reopening: mid-October. This, of course, coincides nicely with parent's weekend, thereby allowing WashU to show off its new Krispy Kreme while it begs for donations. Meanwhile the Long Island Girl contingent will have to look for a new source of Evian and bagels. Perhaps a black market for Evian will develop, in which case I should probably snap up a few cases right now so I can corner the market, which consists of the demographic "girls wearing black capri pants that are much too tight along with those same sandals that everyone else wears and carrying those same black bags that everyone else carries".

I'm sure I've missed some sites, but these are the main differences that you'll notice from last year. Hope all of you have a great semester, just watch out for those construction holes.

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Chris Hill is a senior CS major at Washington University in St. Louis. Someday he hopes to reap the benefits of the school construction projects, but he's not holding his breath. This is his fifth -273 guest post.

Posted by Chris on 18 August 2001 at 5:11 PM