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Right now you're probably thinking what I'm thinking: "If I hear that damn Moulin Rouge song one more time I'm going to throw myself out the window." Or something to that effect.  Well it ain't getting much better folks, LFO just released a new single.  That's right, for the next 2 months you can expect to hear more witty lyrics about high school proms and such, all funded in no doubt by the Abercrombie and Fitch Corporation ("New Kids on the Block had a bunch of hits, Chinese food makes me sick").  That's why I stand before you today, music collection in hand, ready to point you down the path towards righteousness.  Here's my take on some CDs that have come out in the last year.

(Artist -- Title)

Zebrahead -- Playmate of the Year (4 out of 5 stars)
If there's one thing that's guaranteed to get airplay nowadays it's tattooed, spiky-haired guys from southern California singing about boobies and other such mature topics.  It worked for the Bloodhound Gang, it worked for Blink 182, but Zebrahead forgot one crucial aspect: identifying their target audience.  Let's face it, the majority of Zebrahead fans or possible fans are high schoolers hanging out with their skateboards and their pot, so why promote your album in Playboy, a magazine that none of these pot-smoking skaters are old enough to buy?  Because of this a lot of people missed what turned out to be a really catchy album.  It's poppier than their first major-label release, and anyone with bleach tipped hair (which is pretty much everyone nowadays) would've loved it.  Alas, the band returns to SoCal to work on their 3rd release, which me and about 3 other people are eagerly anticipating.

New Found Glory -- New Found Glory (5 out of 5 stars)
Once upon a time, I went to a Less than Jake concert.  Before LTJ came out to play, I once again prepared myself for 2 mediocre opening acts which probably should still be playing in their parents' garages.  The first band, Anti-Flag, was all I expected and worse.  "Die Die Die for your government" they screamed, and between songs they preached mob rule and a violent disregard of our legislative system.  Next up was New Found Glory, who absolutely blew me away.  I purchased their album on amazon.com (which I by no means endorse) the next day, and it hasn't been out of my CD player since then.  Trust me, every song is the best song you have ever heard.  They get compared to Blink and other similar bands, but while Blink sings about girls from the point of view of a horny 14-year-old, these guys do it with the same upbeat style and 3 times the maturity.  Run, don't walk, to the nearest record store and buy this album, you will thank me later (hopefully by sending me money).

Less than Jake -- Borders and Boundaries (4 out of 5 stars)
There is no bigger underground band than Less than Jake.  They don't get a mention on MTV or any radio station, yet everyone has heard of them.  They tour the world about 4 times a year, and are treated as gods in Japan (where apparently every pop-punk-sounding US band is revered as if they have more musical talent than the Beatles).  In this album they've abandoned most of the ska rhythms found in their earlier work Pezcore and have gone to more of an all-out punk sound.  Unfortunately, they also let Roger sing more, which is a very bad thing.  Imagine yourself singing in the shower, then imagine yourself doing it completely off-key.  This is Roger.  I've been told that I sing better than Roger, this is not a good thing.  There are some very strong songs on this album, which is a little more diverse than some of LTJ's past offerings, but the presence of Roger's off-key voice is an automatic loss of one star.  Let us never hear from him again.

Blink 182 -- The Mark, Tom, and Travis Show (3 out of 5 stars)
A riddle: what do you do when it's been 2 years since your last album and you don't have enough hits to release a "greatest hits" compilation?  Release a live album, at least that's what Dave Matthews did about 5 times.  All of Blink's fun, immature hits are here (with the exception of Josie, why no Josie?) plus their one mature hit (Adam's Song, the obligatory serious song about teen suicide).  Then there are about 10 other songs that all sound the same.  In fact, 3 of them feature the exact same guitar line.  Finally there is the witty stage banter, a whopping 30 some-odd tracks worth of it, most of which involves Tom telling girls in the audience to take their clothes off.  They call it the Mark, Tom, and Travis show, yet we never hear a word from Travis, and Tom sounds like he has his guitar stuck up his ass.  If you don't own any other Blink albums, buy this one just so you get all their good songs in one place.

Sum 41 -- All Killer No Filler (3 out of 5 stars)
Let's say it's midnight on the night before you have a final exam and you see a crowd of people rushing into Vintage Vinyl for no apparent reason.  Being a follower easily swayed by the actions of others, you race to the door, pay the man $7 for some unknown reason, and run inside to find...a band you've never heard of playing 3 songs before they are ordered to stop because of St. Louis noise ordinances.  The funny thing is, this exact thing happened to me, with said unknown band being Sum 41.  Their song 'Fat Lip' may be tearing up the airwaves now, but this album (which I received in exchange for my $7) is much more than just this one song.  With a maturity level somewhere above Blink but below New Found Glory, this album clocks in at about 25 minutes, but if you can pick it up for $7 then I definitely recommend it, it's catchy as hell.  Plus one of the guys in the band is Indian.  How many other people of Indian descent are in punk bands?  None I say, support the Indian punk scene and give this album a shot.

American Hi-Fi -- American Hi-Fi (3 out of 5 stars)
Back before Napster was shut down by those evil corporate bigwigs from Metallica, I used it for its intended purpose, to "try before I buy".  I downloaded 3 random songs from this album in order to best judge whether I should purchase it.  Unfortunately those 3 songs (Flavor of the Weak, I'm a Fool, and Another Perfect Day) turned out to be the best songs on the album.  If you're expecting the whole album to be as pop-friendly as Flavor of the Weak, you will be disappointed.  Many of the others aren't as catchy, but are more musically complex.  After many listens, the other songs have grown on me to where I would say that I do like this album, but I still feel like I've been led on.  Damn that horrible bitch-goddess that was Napster!

Fenix TX -- Leschuza (3 out of 5 stars)
I'm committing the cardinal sin of CD reviewing here, I'm reviewing a CD that I've only listened to twice.  I have not had enough time to fully soak in the ambience or formulate a true opinion.  But I'll try :-) The first song, Phoebe, is about being in love with Phoebe Cates from the movie Fast Times at Ridgemont High.  I can't say that I've ever been that enamored with celebrity types, although I'm sure that Jennifer Love Hewitt and I would be great together.  This is the only real upbeat 'pop' song on the album, the rest are darker, longer, and some are just as good.  Tearjerker is a good rock ballad, although not as epic or grandiose as the monster ballads of the 80's, but then again every band can't be Def Leppard.  Nothing on this album is as good as Flight 601 (All I've Got is Time) from their first album, which is why it only gets 3 stars, but it is more balanced and deep.

Stone Temple Pilots -- Shangri-La-Di-Da (2 out of 5 stars)
There seems to be some sort of inverse relationship between the amount of drugs that Scott Weiland has in his system and the quality of songs that his band puts out.  Core was a phenomenal album, Purple was even better, and Tiny Music..., while more of a departure from their past success, showed more musical maturity and depth.  Then Mr. Weiland found his way into rehab, his band did their own thing for awhile, and a year or two later he made his triumphant return to sobriety to put out the most godawful piece of crap I have ever heard: No. 4.  Every review I read spoke of this album as "better than No. 4", which sounded promising, so I took a chance and purchased it.  Unfortunately, the reviewers must've been smoking some crack of their own because this album could also be called "No. 4 and a half".  The 'rock' style songs have the exact same sound and feel as the ones on No. 4, and for the most part the ballads (formerly the underlying strength of any STP release) are weak and uninspired.  The song Too Cool Queenie is a thinly veiled reference to Courtney Love and Kurt Cobain and is about as subtle as Britney Spears' implants.  With this said, there is one excellent song on here called Wonderful.  If you can track it down online, download it immediately.  Whether or not this song is worth spending $17 on the album for is up to you.

Blink 182 -- Take Off Your Pants and Jacket (2 out of 5 stars)
...And check your adultivity at the door.  It's time for another rollicking romp through freshman year of high school courtesy of the boys from Blink.  Mark complains that kids are victims, Tom explains how easy it is to meet hot girls at concerts, Mark caterwauls about his girlfriend breaking up with him and unleashes a stream of cusswords a mile long (which are convieniently bleeped out on my disc thanks to the friendly folks at Amazon.com shipping me the wrong f***ing one).  Frankly I don't understand why any girl would go out in the first place with someone who seems to be afflicted with a disease causing him to scream "boobies" at every girl he sees.  Nevertheless, there are some fun tunes on here that have me looking forward to seeing them in concert in a few weeks.  Who knows, perhaps I will meet a hot high school girl at the rock show.

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Chris Hill is a senior CS major at Washington University in St. Louis.  He takes any opportunity he can to force-feed his musical opinions to others.  This is his fourth -273 guest post.

Posted by Chris on 29 June 2001 at 7:07 PM